the marriage debacle.

Trust me when I say I would love to get married. I would! Although sometimes I do have to wonder, is it the marriage I want? Or the wedding? In either case, "marriage" is a word that seems to get thrown around a lot in my life lately. Especially when you're pregnant. Here's the deal. Lucas and I have been together for two years, in fact, tomorrow is our anniversary. Now, two years isn't exactly a very long time in terms of couple-dom, but we've weathered a lot in a short amount of time and we are both very secure in our relationship. We're happy and yes, we have talked about spending the rest of our lives together. Pre-pregnancy, an engagement and wedding was (I think) very high on our list of priorities. But, then we got pregnant. Before, no one seemed to give a hoot whether we were married or not. Now it seems we never hear the end of it. To this I say: one thing at a time, people! 

My personal favorite: "Just go down to the courthouse and make it legal, you can have the big party later." 

Okay, this may work for some, but it doesn't work for me. I am a girly girl. Since I was a little girl I have dreamed of the ultimate big wedding and all that hoopla. I am just not the kind of person to stand in front of a judge and sign some paperwork. I want the big white dress and the fabulous party. At the same time. Also, I'm sorry, but I don't want to be pregnant at my wedding. I'd like to drink and have a good time. Now we're about to have a baby and I feel that's a big enough thing for us to handle at this time. So all that stuff is not on the back burner. Just on the back burner for now. 

A friend posted a link to a great article the other day, about how domestic partnerships should be an option for ALL couples. This particular writer is married and she wished she wasn't. No because she's unhappy, but because of all the hassle associated with marriage itself. It's a good read, check it out here. This woman got married a.)because she was in love, BUT most importantly b.)to keep her partner on her health insurance. I found myself in a similar situation at my old job. I had health insurance but Lucas did not (and hasn't since god knows when). To this day, this makes me so nervous, god forbid anything happens. I tried to get him on my health insurance, but we had to be married. Personally, I feel like we are in a domestic partnership. We live together, share money (to a certain extent), and are about to have a child. The author also makes a good point regarding getting married and having it affect you credit score, school loans, etc. I am going back to school in October with the aid of a grant, that is wonderfully and thankfully, paying for all of my classes and books, etc. Honestly, without it, the chances of me even considering going back would have been very slim. If Lucas and I were married, there would be no way I would have gotten that grant. And now is the time I want to go back to school. So, marriage will wait for a bit while baby gets bigger and I go back to work with a better paying job.

It's not that we don't want to get married. It's the combination of a lot of things. Weddings, engagement rings= $$$$. We'll get there, but on our terms with a little time and a lot of saving.

P.S.-Doc appointment went well today. Baby's growth is right where it needs to be. No change in due date, yay! She weighs 4 lbs! And she already has some super chubby baby cheeks....