40 weeks and 4 days.

Well. We made it through the weekend and guess what? No baby! I kept wishing and hoping that it might happen, but sometime around Friday night or Saturday morning I accepted the fact that I was going to be induced. Clearly, this isn't happening on its own. I don't know, maybe it would have if we wait longer. Maybe our dates are off, but whatever the case, we gotta do what's best and that means tonight I get induced. 

I woke up at 5:30AM for no real particular reason. I can only assume I am anxious, which I am! Anxious, nervous, scared, excited. I kind of knew I would freak out when it came time to actually have the baby. We've got like five hours before we even have to leave for the hospital and I don't know what to do with myself.

I just need to think about the end product. Tomorrow (well, uh at some point) it will all be over. The laboring part, anyway. End product. Baby. Diet Pepsi. Sushi. Most of all, baby. 

So I'll be back in a day or two. And I will have a baby, I promise!

due date.

Stole one of Lucas' shirts to wear to bed the other night. I look like a pumpkin.

It's 9:50pm on 9/15/11 and I think it's safe to say that Olivia will not be making her debut today. I was holding out hope that she might actually show up on her due date. Statistics be damned! 

I have made it through 40 weeks of this pregnancy and I truly feel I might not last even one more day pregnant. On the plus side, contractions started up again today. I have also realized I no longer know which contractions are real and which are not so I have decided to treat them all as real and time them all! I feel at 40 weeks I am allowed to do that. The contractions have been coming in weird patterns. It's been every 23-30 minutes and then 7 minutes after that and then back to 23-30 minutes and then 7 minutes and so on. How strange. I figure I shouldn't make a rush for the hospital until they are 5-7 minutes apart consistently. They do hurt, but it's manageable. With my luck they will probably disappear again.

It looks like she's going to take after her Momma and be a late baby!

patience is a virtue, i guess.

I went into my appointment yesterday feeling eager. Eager for some news. Something, anything! Throw me a bone, here! Walked in, signed in, sat down. Flipped through some pregnancy magazine with Lucas. There was an article inside that went through the signs and different stages of labor. We read it eagerly, I think both of us hoping that if we read it, it might actually happen. 

The nurse calls my name and it takes me a good three seconds (Mississippi seconds) to get up out of the chair. I feel huge. I waddle my way though the door and take a seat in the chair next to the blood pressure cuff. It's not my usual nurse (whom I really like) but I remember this one and she is quite nice too. She remarks on how close I am to my due date ("Only two more days!"). She tells me I look really good for being two days away from my due date. I thank her. I still feel huge. Blood pressure is taken; normal. Time to get weighed, my least favorite part. Back to the scale, flips flops off, Lucas makes a move for my purse (he knows me well, no extra weight!). I never look and I tune the nurse out in case they say anything, which they usually don't. I think they get it. Down to Room 3-nope Room 2, because I am having an exam. 

Sit down, lie back, pull up my shirt and expose my protruding belly. Measuring time! Height of fundus normal. Next up, heartbeat. Sounds good, strong. Baby starts kicking, as usual whenever we do the heartbeat check. It's like she knows. Heartbeat 132, very good. Undress from the waist down, Dr. Rodriguez will be right in. My doctor comes in and I am relieved to see her. I just wanna know! I hold my breath and....."Well....you're still only about a centimeter. Cervix is still thick." Deflation. "But I'm going to help you." Oh, we're doing THAT again. I really said that. But, okay. Sit up, get dressed, come on over to my office. 

I am disappointed. I had really hoped for something. We sit down in her office. I am not sure exactly what we are going to talk about, but I have a pretty good idea. She tells us that she does not like to have babies go past 41 weeks and gives us the reasons why. We still have some time. But she feels we should schedule an induction. She gives us the option of next Monday or next Wednesday. I would like to wait longer but my parents fly out next Thursday, so we choose Monday. I am not a fan of induction. Or Pitocin. I feel like if I get induced, it's going to lead to a c-section. I am afraid of the c-section. I tell her these things. She assures me that a c-section will be our last resort. She tells me exactly what medication will be used first, and that it will be administered for 12 hours and it's solely for the cervix and it is NOT Pitocin. The Pitocin will be secondary, if needed. Apparently I have a finicky cervix. That seems to be our obstacle here. She prints out more forms for me to add to my medical records that I am to bring to Labor and Delivery. "You're gonna be fine", she assures me.

There is still some time, but if all else fails, we'll have our baby by next Tuesday. Not exactly they way I wanted to go about it, but it's alright, I guess. Like I said, there is still time. I don't want to get my hopes up but since this morning my body has been showing some signs that maybe it COULD be time. But I don't want to get too excited. Although wouldn't that be great if she showed up on her exact due date? I wish. 

So, still we wait.

tick tock.

Do you hear that? That's the sound of a clock ticking away. Minutes, hours going by. And NOTHING. I am becoming impatient. No, scratch that. I am impatient. I truly believe I would not be this way if it weren't for the fact that we got that faint glimmer of hope via my medical records. That last ultrasound and that estimated due date of 9/9/11, instead of the 9/15/11 that we had been going on. My official due date was never changed, but you see why it might get someone excited for an early delivery?

There was definitely some mild excitement on Saturday when for about 6 hours straight I experienced contractions. Irregular in spacing but definitely longer in length. I figured I must be getting somewhere, finally. And then they just stopped. Can they do that?! What a tease. Since then it has been not much, if anything. I feel like my labor is at a complete standstill.

Okay, okay so my due date isn't until Thursday, I guess I do have some time. The only phone calls or text messages we get are usually along the lines of Has she had the baby yet? And every time we answer, "No, not yet, still waiting." I feel like I am disappointing everyone! I'm trying, I swear! I'm walking still, I clean the house, I ate pineapple, I've been doing it all! In turn, my impatience has been making me slightly frustrated and irritable (sorry, Lucas). I want to cry and stomp my feet. I plead with my belly, What can I do? Tell me! Also, I would like my body back, please. I feel like I am the size of a baby beluga whale. I fear what I might look like AFTER baby and it's beginning to make me consider hibernation. Or extreme workouts beginning the day I get out of the hospital. Possibly both. 

But at the end of the day, all superficial and vanity reasons aside (of which I have many), I am impatient because I want my baby here. I would like to start being a mom already, geez! We are clearly on the cusp of something big here and I am ready to get this new chapter started. Everything is set up, the strollers, the car seat, the musical swings, and the vibrating chairs. The bassinet is set up next to our bed, ready to go. However it looks mighty lonely all empty like that.

We're waiting on you, kid! 

Looks like I'll be making tomorrow's doctor appointment. Hopefully more news tomorrow.

39 & 1.

Disclaimer: Okay folks at this stage of the game it can get graphic. I mean, I will show some discretion, for sure, but let's face it, there is going to be a lot of talk regarding lady parts. I'll try to be as modest as I can but when I say I'm dilated, I am not talking about my pupils. Welcome to the fun part of pregnancy, you have been warned!

 

39 and 1, people! 39 and 1! I finally have some numbers for you. As of today, I am officially 39 weeks. Whoop whoop! The end is near...or really just the end of this pregnancy. I went for my weekly check up this morning praying for some good news. Or any news for that matter. And wouldn't you know, we are 1 cm dilated. That's all I wanted! I was getting bummed because I just felt like nothing was happening. All these Braxton-Hicks, for what? But the constant back ache has settled in so I've got that going for me. Well, I couldn't be happier when she said 1 cm and she seemed pretty pleased as well. Then she said, "You know what? I'm going to try and help you along." I'm thinking, Oh wow! Great! I wonder what she is going to do....oh...OH! Owwww. I guess my cervix is being a little stubborn, so she decided to irritate it and strip the membranes a bit. It's about as fun as it sounds.

Hopefully that will speed things along. We are t-minus 7 days until actual D-Day and until my next appointment. But when I told her I would see her next Thursday, she felt that was too long and changed it to Tuesday. If I am not in labor by Tuesday we are going to make "plans". She did not elaborate but I am assuming that means induction. Well, we're not wasting any time, are we? She wasn't kidding when she said she wouldn't let me go very far past my due date. I'd rather not be induced unless it's totally, completely necessary, so Olivia! Do your thing! 

This is crazy! I could have a baby by this time next week! I am going to be a mom. It's just so strange and surreal. But it's happening whether I'm ready or not so I'd better put on my big girl pants.

For those of you who are not in the LA area, we've been having somewhat of a heatwave this week. Which makes me a grumpy pregnant girl. It probably also doesn't help that I've been cleaning everyday (hey, it might induce labor!) and decided to bake brownies this afternoon. Who makes brownies during a heatwave?! I do, apparently. 

Recently I downloaded Skype so I could better communicate with my family back in New York. Well not better communicate, just communicate differently and perhaps more fun. I thought it would be a good idea for when Olivia is born so she can see her grandparents more often. But it might mostly be for my mother who is ready to be Grandma Extraordinaire and who might possibly request to see her first born grandchild everyday until her 18th birthday. I forgot I had a webcam until I downloaded Skype so I have been having webcam fun.

39 week bump, in yo' face!! I feel like I don't look this big in person. Perhaps the webcam distorted it slightly. Perhaps that is just wishful thinking on my part, ha!

labor day weekend!

Last year, on Labor Day weekend, we were up north for a friend's wedding. I happily drank champagne and many glasses of wine. I wore a blue strapless dress and my favorite BCBG heels. This year? Yeah, well let's just say what a difference a year makes.

Thursday was the grand opening of the new Nordstrom Rack in Redondo Beach, which I am pretty sure 98% of the females in the South Bay were excited for. I was! And Thursdays are Lucas' day off so he promised me a trip. Brave man to do that on opening day. We had a specific reason for going there, you see. I needed a diaper bag. Here I was, 38 weeks and no diaper bag! I have spent countless hours shopping for a researching the perfect bag. Practical, stylish, functional, easy to clean. And dear Lord please no florals or paisley prints! Also, something that doesn't scream I AM A DIAPER BAG. Every bag I liked was leather so that wasn't going to work. Which I guess made it more purse than diaper bag, but I was flexible. And leather and babies don't really mesh that well. Anyway! I scoured the racks and tables, dodging around the zillions of zany shoppers and found many bags I liked but none that would do the trick. There was one table left. Lo and behold, wouldn't you know that table full of Kate Spades contained one bag bearing that almighty tag, "The Baby Bag". It was a bit pricier than I expected, but I wanted it so! I mulled if over, walked around the store, carried the bag and finally said, "Screw it." I wanted that damn bag. Now I am the proud owner of this:

It's the Kate Spade Dizzy Dot Sophie bag and I'm in love. It doesn't scream diaper bag but it's got all the goodies and it looks pretty. I'm not going to lie; I really wanted a designer diaper bag. I admit it might be rather bratty of me. This wasn't a totally frivolous purchase, though, I mean, we did NEED a bag. Plus it was like, half off!

On a side note, kudos to this new Nordstrom Rack. For a grand opening, it was completely controlled, despite the hoards of people. Extremely well staffed, staff was friendly, everyone was trained well. All registers were open and the lines moved at the speed of light! I've worked a lot of retail in my twenty five years (unfortunately) and also done a few store openings, and this is how it's done! I was very impressed.

Friday was my weekly appointment with my doctor. 38 weeks and one day. The nurse told me I wouldn't be checked until 39 weeks for dilation, but my wonderful doctor decided I was close enough and asked me if I wanted to. Would I! But no. Not dilated at all. She dropped though, so I guess we're making progress? My doctor assured me that by my next appointment I should be at least at one cm. 

Guys, it's time for this baby to come out. I mean I can't even sit here and comfortably write this blog. My belly is too huge, it gets in the way of everything. I can't sit, stand, or sleep comfortably. I am OVER IT.

After my appointment I met up with my friend for Happy Hour at BJ's. I hoped we would be celebrating something, like 1 centimeter dilated or whatever. But we ate half off mini pizzas (which were amazeballs) and I drank iced tea and looked wistfully at Michelle's glass of wine and the other patron's beers. Listen, it's been a long time and yes, I do miss having a nice cocktail. (Side note: When I first met Lucas, he would always call alcoholic beverages cocktails and I thought it was the funniest thing ever. I would laugh and say, "It's a drink" and he would exclaim, "Yes, a cocktail!". I was pretty sure no one had said cocktail since 1965 at a fondue party.)

I would like to share with you this little gem that Lucas made for me on Saturday night.

Excuse the crappy cell phone picture. Seriously, one of these days I'll get an iPhone. But that, my friends, is an M&M sugar cookie, chocolate fudge ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup, powdered sugar, and crumbled Kit Kats on top. You see why I am with him?

I got my pre-labor day (like baby labor) pedicure yesterday. Giving birth is rough, I gotta look good while doing it. Yes, I plan on going to the hospital with a full face of make up. That's just me.

We made some truly awesome Greek inspired food last night. It was mostly my creation so I am quite proud of it, if I do say so myself. You see, I am not a cook. But I made my own marinade for the chicken and made a pretty sweet Greek salad. 

I crushed the rest of that salad today. Right out of the bowl. No shame.