Musings on motherhood.

I'm still shocked/amazed at how quickly Olivia is growing. I don't mean in height and weight. I mean how quickly she is growing as a child, as a person. Every day, every week, she does something new. Or some new facet of her personality shows itself. The way she grabs her feet and pulls them all the way to her face. How she lunges forward when she's sitting up to grab her toys and land on her tummy (she's ready for crawling,m that's for sure). I love her little tiny teeth that are sprouting (all 4 of them!), even though it means there are some rough days. I love hearing her say "Mama", which she says all the time now. Or hearing the little sounds she makes when she first wakes up in the morning to let us know that she is awake. I roll over, always a bit bleary-eyed (I'm sorry, but the waking up early thing just has never gotten easier for me, I've adapted, but it still isn't easy), and she flashes me that mega-watt little baby smile at me. Well that just makes it all worth it, now doesn't it?

I remember when I found out I was pregnant in January 2011 and I went into complete and total panic mode. To be honest, I felt that way for the duration of my pregnancy. And probably the first two months of motherhood. As I've mentioned before, I'm an only child and the youngest is my family by far. I had zero experience with children. I also have a long history of being a mess. Issues everywhere, as far as the eye can see! I feared, from the beginning that I was not cut out for motherhood. 

I'm so happy that I proved myself wrong.

I'm incredibly lucky to have a healthy, happy, and vibrant baby. I remember at 18 weeks when my doctor told me that due to the nature of my pre-natal screening test results, I should consider an amniocentesis. That was the only hiccup in my entire pregnancy, but it was a big one. It was a terrifying experience and a rough week and a half waiting for those results. I remember the relief that washed over me when the results came back normal. All 46 chromosomes, right where they should be, as they should be (I would have loved her no matter what, but it is still a bit scary and overwhelming). This kid lights up a room, I tell ya. We get stopped everywhere we go. Seriously, everywhere. I don't know if it's the blue eyes, the chubby cheeks.....I like to think it's the whole smooshy package. She's pretty charming. 

I often tell Lucas that Olivia is my best friend. He laughs. But it's true! We do everything together, she comes with my pretty much everywhere. I can tell her anything and she doesn't judge me. She's the best audience when I practice my speeches for school. Maybe it's a little silly to say but I'd like to think we're buds.

Motherhood is tough, that's for sure (so is fatherhood, shout out to the dads!). Harder than I imagined and yet easier, if that makes any sense at all. I never thought this is where I'd be at this point in my life. I'm still figuring it out. But I am ever so grateful for my little family. And especially this little girl.

Have a great weekend!

P.S.-Happy Birthday to my mama!!! We love you!

P.P.S.-I'm looking for anyone with web design experience to help me out with this blog!

She needs some sprucing up.